9 Things ONLY Stay At Home Moms Will Think Are Funny

9 Things ONLY Stay At Home Moms Will Think Are Funny Whether youve made a decision to stay home or you do so out of necessity, there are parts of being a stay at home mom that only those living the all-day parenting show will understand. If youve done it you know, its not easy. Here are some of the humorous realities that we face on the daily, yet still manage to make it through the day alive.1. Sick days dont exist.Your kids wont ease up if you feel like garbage. If anything, they will make sure to shower you with extra screams and destruction to keep your mind off your raging fever. If mom takes a day off, the whole house goes to hell. Sick or not, the show must go on.2. Multitasking is your middle name.You have managed to learn how to cook a meal while breastfeeding, tie shoes with one hand while zipping coats with the other and answer important phone calls while deflecting nerf darts. You pay bills while you clean the house, and you make grocery lists in the shower. You plan birt hday parties in your sleep thats how good you are.3. You spend fruchtwein of the day silently begging for peace and quiet, but you know its bad when it happens.But you know if you get it, something catastrophic is going down. And sometimes, even knowing that, youre willing to take the risk anyways because you just NEED. A. BREAK.4. Your best friends are named dry shampoo and perfume.You might spend your entire day at home, but that doesnt mean you have time to waste on petty activities like showers or personal hygiene. You slap on some tinted moisturizer and your good leggings if youre really feeling fancy, but most days your fuzzy socks, stretched out yoga pants, and that sweater with the hole in it. Your kids are just going to get boogers and food all over you anyway, so whats the point?5. Unlike your working mom counterparts, the more you get done in a day, theLESS money you have.You killed it as a mom today. You went to the grocery store, you caught up on all the bills, you sto cked up the toiletries and got your kid a new pair of shoes for gym class. You signed your toddler up for tumbling and you picked up your husbands dry cleaning. You were ON. YOUR. GAME So why after a long day at the office is your bank account suffering from withdrawal symptoms? Ughhh.6. Your corner office with a window is mobile.And its usually littered with goldfish crackers, hides dried up french fries, carries a questionable smell, and is coated in something sticky. You frequently find your boss sleeping on the job and staff insubordination is rewarded with Happy Meals and dum-dum suckers.7. Trips to Target alone count as self-care.You pamper yourself with a venti coffee and stroll the aisles of pet supplies (even though you dont havent owned a furry friend in years) just to delay your checkout a little longer. You deserve this vacation, and youre going to soak up every minute in the dollar aisle if thats what it takes.8. Bodily functions are part of your daily routine, and your e not even a doctorYour boss asks you to wipe his butt, or claws at your breasts to nurse and its a completely acceptable, welcomed even. You frequently step in something wet and have to ask yourself if its water, juice, or urine. And either way, youre not completely grossed out.9. Your friends who work outside the home dont understand your job and you dont understand them.Your husband doesnt fully grasp it either. You hear comments like if you had a real job you would know or what did you do all day? You feel misunderstood and underappreciated, and its not because your audience hasnt mastered fine triebwerk skills yet. You yearn for adult interaction, but when you finally get it, you are so used to speaking toddler through Disney movie song lyrics that you end up saying something completely inappropriate and awkward. You cant remember what its like to have conversations with adults. Its been that long.The best part of your job is that your bonuses come in the form of tiny hands wr apped around your neck, little kisses on the cheek by the plumpest, sweetest, tinest lips, and giant I LOVE YOUS from miniature lispy voices. And when those come, you realize you dont care if you laugh at yourself all day. This is the only place you ever want to be.--

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